Trash Hash 13 March 2005

Due to the whines and complaints of various Rugger-buggers who wanted to see the English win the wooden spoon this hash started at damn near the crack of dawn. Despite that minor problemette most people managed to show up on time even though Pre-stressed did his best to confuse the heck out of Riviera Radio listeners all by pushing the previous run (which started at 11 in Theoule/Mer) instead.

Anyway most of us showed in the car park in La Gaude by 10:30 with just a couple of late-cummers (e.g. Klingon and Fartybum) failing to show up on time. The hares annouced that the trail was entirely standard except that the marked view stop was in fact also the Beer stop and then we were off. The runners' trail was flat and entirely on roads - NOT. The trail began with a scenic detour around the sewage works before getting serious and heading into the shiggy on the old route to Vence. Those people (Klingon) who really wanted to cross the river were out of luck as the trail down to it was in fact yet another loop. Impressively the Rugger-buggers, viz Padre and Pre-stressed, managed to continue their discussion about England's chances at the wooden spoon despite scrambling up the hill back to the real trail.

The real trail sort of paralleled the side of the valley and contained lots of shiggy and a number of walkers who seemed upset that a) they had to solve some checks - Fartybum managed to mislead a few at one particular check and b) that the trail was narrower than normal; i.e. it was single file without passing places but with pickly bushes instead. Various runners who had been conspicuous by the absence in our descent to the river also showed up as the pack steadily overhauled the walkers. Numerous injuries were sustained by hashers with the prize for most whining going to Big End after she tried to leave her eye on a thornbush. Astoundingly Sadist was left well behind in the bloody injury stakes with Klingon sharing honours with a walker (sorry forgot name) for most damage.

However despite the injuries and slow pace of the walkers eventually the entire pack emerged into the open at a very scenic spot which included a scenic Pedo asking what took us all so long. We all wondered how Pedo had shortcut to this spot sinc he had been notable by his non-visibility on trail.
View Point
Also at this scenic spot was a V implying that Ve Vere at Ve Veer Stop. Once Cumalot was persuaded to move his vehicle 3 foot so that we could get stuff out, the beercheck proved to also be a champagne and cake stop as well to celebrate the fact that the Riviera H3 was celebrating its 18th Birthday. Worrying to think that the Riviera Hash has now come of age and thus is able to vote, drink (except in America), marry, have sex (except with sheep), drive a car and so on.
Hashy Cake
Eventually the Rugger Buggers and the people who wanted to dine a restaurant for lunch got us all on the road again for the second half. And this time it really was a road
Hashing down the road
Not only was it a road it was a road that passed fascinating animals. Big End was very interested in an old goat - I wasn't quite clear whether this was an attempt to compare Padre to the real thing or whether it was more general.
Big End and Old Goat
Meanwhile one of our North British hashers demonstarted the canny penny-pinching that is so typical of the nation by picking a bouquet of mimosas from a nearby tree to present to his sweetheart. The suggestion that the flowers were intended for Big End's goat is something that I can neither confirm nor deny.
Mimosa picker
Eventually the trail went off the road for a brief diversion up a hill of shiggy and back down again. Again it was notable that a number of hashers somehow seemed to avoid this detour and headed straight in for the beer.
Final shiggy

More fool the short-cutters, because the hares had failed to coordinate things properly and left the pack standing around in the midday sun while the beer was fetched from the beer check
Waiting for beer
Eventually the hares got their shit together and the beer arrived. We then had a swift circle with numerous downdowns:
Hare : Cum A Lot and Jobsworth
Missing Run report & next scribe : Sadist & Dingus
Non St Patrick's : Pedo & Fly Me
St. Patrick's : Lots of people
Mother's Day : Lots of people
RHHH Birthday : Padre, Pedo & Sadist
Late Comers : Klingon, Mc Goose, Linda, Lindsay & Never Comes
Stand in Hash Cash : Confusion & Supermarket Trolley
Birthdays Absolutely Pathetic and Big End
RHHH Birthday Cake : BIG END
S.O.W. : Cum A Lot for not having any beer at the end of the run, plus bad planning, plus....
        The owner of the restaurant for not wanting to serve 28 Hashers because we where 5 minutes late!!!!
Because of lack of time the SOW will be awarded at the next run.

Then the hungry headed to the restaurant (and failed to get served because they were late) and the rest of us buggered off home